Postpartum Talk #4: Why doesn’t anyone talk about relationships?

relationship blog pic

re·la·tion·ship

riˈlāSHənˌSHip/

noun

  1. 1.

the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

 

I remember in my psychology class when my teacher asked the class to raise their hands who thought that the relationship between you and your partner is more important than the relationship with your baby. What a tricky question. Of course I thought the baby is the most important but I did vote for the relationship between partners. I was split; I didn’t know how he could have asked a question like that. I just recently gave birth and knew my focus was more on the baby than anything else. Who can concentrate on something when you have this newly bundle of joy in your hands that you need to give your whole attention to. Wrong. You have to build a family on a strong foundation. You have to establish a strong relationship and keep it going when there are new challenges. It takes two to do that. As in the definition above, both have to be present and willing to put in the same amount of work. A strong relationship doesn’t just fall when there are new obstacles added because those two people have both been working hard to keep it.

Building and maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner will establish a strong foundation for your family, especially for your little one. You have to work to keep it going but if you turn around and the person standing beside you isn’t on the same page, it’s definitely hard to continue. Make sure both of you are on the same page. People say communication is key, but be realistic who is going to listen?  When unhappiness hits make sure to create change. Have date nights, family days, and be straightforward. Be able to listen to each other even though sometimes that’s hard. Don’t take advantage of each other, sometimes that’s easy to do when you’re married thinking the person won’t go anywhere. You tend to forget why you’ve fallen in love, create that atmosphere. Create a home together where both of you run to after a long day. Respect each other. Live for each other and your family. Value what’s important. If something is standing in the way, go around it together. If you can’t then it might be time to think of other options. Sometimes there’s a point you reach where you won’t tolerate certain situations. “They kind of make you sick to your stomach and then you reflect and think why am I in this type of relationship again? I deserve better.” Whatever the decision is make sure it makes you happy. Make sure as a woman you are LOVED, RESPECTED, and GIVEN the attention you deserve. After all, we are women and we need that sometimes too.

3 C’s to remember during communication:

speak CLEARLY

keep CALM

and CANDID

RECIPE OF THE DAY FOR YOUR TODDLER. WHAT’S FOR DINNER?

Spaghetti with chicken

Boil the chicken. I like to add veggies such as carrots, celery, and red pepper to create a little bit of flavor since I do not add any salt or spices.

Then boil spaghetti

Use a blender to blend the chicken into small pieces and mix it with the spaghetti in a bowl.

Give it to your toddler to enjoy but be ready for a mess 🙂

 

spaghetti

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Postpartum Talk #3

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If you don’t push yourself hard, then no one will. You want to be the best for your baby but sometimes it is hard when there is so much on your plate. Start slow. Postpartum is a hard time not just for the mother but for the family as a whole. It is a time to adapt to new changes and welcome the new addition to the family. Most women suffer from postpartum depression due to so many changes and a great support is always important. Many people always asked me did you have postpartum depression? I always answered jokingly “no I just didn’t have time for it.” I was thrown back into school with exams and treating patients in clinic, running around trying to balance everything with breastfeeding. Looking back I honestly don’t know how I did it, it makes me exhausted to think about it. I wouldn’t change it though.

Now that I have time to reflect as my exams come to an end and graduation is just around the corner, I can focus on myself more. That is the important part. To be a better wife, to be a better mom you have to take care of yourself first. I know I let myself go. I just didn’t have time for myself. You have to make time. No matter how busy you are you have to. I am definitely not a morning person. It’s hard for me to get up at 5 am to exercise but that is one of my long goals. So instead I have to find time either during the day or at night time. Trust me no one wants to exercise after a long twelve hour day treating patients and a two hour drive back home. You make room and you fit it in. Diet and making the right choices during meal times are so important. You can exercise like crazy but if your diet isn’t good, you’re not getting anywhere. Find things that will motivate you and conquer your goals. It’s definitely a hard journey but you have to get there for yourself and your family. Just think of all the diseases out there today and how heart disease is the number one leading killer in the United States followed by cancer. Think about what’s in your food and how it can affect you in the long run. Find your motivation. My son motivates me to get up and go. Taking him to the playground is always a workout. He loves to climb but he’s still little so of course I have to climb with him. I’m excited for this new journey and to see where it brings me.

What’s for dinner?

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Stuffed bell peppers with turmeric ground turkey, cauliflower, quinoa, and mushrooms. Submerged into homemade tomato sauce (Babushka’s (Grandma’s) secret recipe).

Wash and boil the bell peppers for 15 minutes. Let cool off on the side. Meanwhile, marinate the ground turkey with turmeric, teriyaki sauce, and ground pepper.  Cook it on coconut oil until done. On a separate pan fry mushrooms and add in cauliflower. Add water to the pan, cover it, and let it simmer. Cook quinoa. Make your homemade tomato sauce. See below for the recipe. Mix the quinoa, cauliflower, mushrooms, and ground turkey into a bowl and mix. Add two tablespoons of the tomato sauce and mix everything. Cut open the bell peppers by cutting the tops off and clean out the seeds. Stuff them with the mix and close with the tops. Add into a pot the left over tomato sauce, 1 cup of water, and boil. Add bay leave. Then add the stuffed peppers to that mix and boil for 15 minutes.

Homemade tomato sauce:

Use tomato paste, shredded carrots, diced onions, ketchup, and 1 cup of water. Add two tablespoons of sugar. Sauté for 15-20 minutes on a pan using coconut oil.

Enjoy!

A dinner idea for your toddler:

Chicken legs with cinnamon apples

Chicken legs sautéed on coconut oil

Sliced apples with a pinch of cinnamon sugar added to the pan when the chicken legs are cooked

Add 2 tablespoons of water, cover it, and let it simmer for 15 minutes until the apples turn soft and golden brown.

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Now that my toddler is getting older he likes to eat what I eat. This definitely makes me more health conscious. I have to think about what I put in my mouth because I want to make sure I set the right example for him. Look out for my next blog filled with toddler & me recipes! HAPPY SUNDAY!

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